The title of this piece is a quote from the late President, Harry Truman, and is sage advice on the potential dangers of acting (or reacting) impulsively. We all meet challenging people in our lives; sometimes we are married or related to them, sometimes we run into them at work, sometimes when we are just out in public. While we all know a lot of nice people, it's the ones that aren't so nice that get most or all of our attention, generate the most negative emotion (How can you be so effing stupid?), and tempt us to do or say something we might regret.
Being a Psych nurse, I have developed a tolerance over the years out of necessity. Awareness of the potential negative consequences to my bad behavior helps me to keep from doing something I would later regret, both at home and at work. I don't want to get fired, hurt, divorced, lose my nursing license, or go to jail.
When I am at home, it seems that I have much more control over dealing with people who annoy me. Fortunately, I am not required to interact with or even acknowledge the people who some might be tempted to euthanize. I don't have to like everyone (although there are many I do). For those I don't like, I need to tolerate them or just walk away. It may not be the choice everyone else would make, but it works for me.
Work, though, can be totally different at times, and not always in a good way. Some individuals, either as a result of their mental illness or their underlying personalities, can be just plain unlikable. Patients who are in psychiatric units present some unique challenges. When they behave badly, we cannot do anything which could be considered punitive (even though that's what would happen to us if we did the same thing). Filing legal charges, while sometimes desirable, often goes nowhere because the individual may not be competent to stand trial. We try to positively engage patients, treat them respectfully, and provide a safe environment for recovery. A few individuals with bad behavior, though, can totally negate all of the efforts we make. Interestingly, sometimes the person that you may have been tempted to strangle last week doesn't seem all that bad compared to the new patient who was admitted yesterday. Patients have their ups and downs, but often the bad behavior moderates or goes away over time. The challenge to us is to being able to tolerate them until then. Also helpful is the knowledge that not every day is a bad day, that you have good co-workers (or most of them, depending upon your perspective), and that, regardless, your workday eventually comes to an end and you go home.
For those days in which you are feeling challenged, angry, frustrated, and are struggling to keep your cool, just picture Harry whispering in your ear some advice about what not to kick.
