When you take a look around this place, medical school can't be all that hard.

I started working in hospitals in 1973, when I was still in high school. The experience over the years has provided exposure to me of hundreds of doctors and thousands of nurses. Like any profession, one can experience the entire spectrum of skill and competency, from world-class to "they should be in jail".
Fortunately my good experiences have far outnumbered the bad, but the negatives tend to be better remembered, much like you would  remember a clerk in a store more clearly than you would a polite one. In my early years as a nurse, I found that surgeons (or at least the majority of those I met) were extremely entitled "because we make money for this place and you don't". In one hospital where I worked, the Medical Records Department had refreshments available to entice them to show up and finish incomplete medical records. The physicians never worried about having their privileges suspended, because they were needed to be on-call.
I recall another physician who had totally illegible handwriting. It was basically a squiggle broken up to imply words. The hospital got denied payment from insurance companies because they could not read his handwriting. One would think the hospital would require him to write legibly but, even though he was an ass, he was an ass that generated a lot of revenue, so he was disinclined to straighten up. In the end, the hospital provided a person to take his dictation and type up his documentation for him to sign.
I found that working with physicians who had privileges, rather than being employees of the hospital, could sometimes be a challenge. They came into the hospital to see the patients on their service, and were gone by lunchtime to their offices to see patients in their private practice. If you needed them to come back to the hospital for anything, they simply wouldn't do it, but were more then willing to provide orders you might need over the telephone. I recall one physician I worked with when I was a staff nurse who, when I would call him at night, was always drunk. Before I called him, I prepared a list of what I needed. I would then call him and go through the list. His response was always "fine" and he would hang up the phone.
I have to admit that I would never want to be a physician. What one has to learn to graduate from medical school is staggering. After that comes a multi-year residency. This is an opportunity for new doctors to not only apply the knowledge from medical school, but to also expand and refine that knowledge. While residency gets better as it progresses, the beginning can be extremely stressful. You could always tell the new residents by the amount of "stuff" in the pockets of their lab coat (stethoscope, flashlight, reflex hammer, numerous reference books, etc.) compared to the senior resident, who only carried a pen in his shirt pocket. Today, with the advances in electronics, the reference books are gone, so the difference in what they carry is a bit less.
Where many young physicians get in trouble is being able to apply their knowledge in a practical and safe way. They have learned the subject material in school, they have passed the exam, but now they have to be able to use it to care for patients.
Enter Rachel. Rachel was a nurse in the Emergency Department at the hospital where I worked at the time and who had been one of my mentors. She was older ("seasoned" is probably the preferred term) who tolerated me because I was there to learn from her and took advantage of her wisdom and experience. Many new residents, on the other hand, thought they knew everything, and did not seek advice from Rachel and others when it would have been extremely prudent to do so.
While most residents caught on and learned the importance of listening and collaborating, the new ones who didn't get it were sometimes an ordeal to tolerate.
The title of this piece is a quote from Rachel when a new crop of residents started in July, and she was exposed to some know-it-alls. I think we have all be exposed to individuals at one time or another who have impressive academic credentials, but it really doesn't matter because they can't think their way out of a paper bag. Another one of my favorite quotes from Rachel: "Those two couldn't diagnose a decapitation."
From my perspective, I am less focused on the letters after someone's name; I really don't care what degrees or certifications they have. To me, the most important thing is that you know their job and do it well. That's how you avoid Rachel's wrath.

People have every right to send me letters, and I have every right not to read them.

The title of this piece is a quote from the author William Faulkner. While I am not a fan of his work, I can certainly appreciate his curmudgeonly attitude toward unwanted communication. We live in a world in which we are bombarded with emails, phone calls, and snail mail from people and organizations that don't have a clue who we but who would be glad to have our business.
While I welcome hearing from people I know, I sometimes get a tad bit annoyed with the other intrusions upon my solitude. My home email address must have been sold to a bunch of people and organizations. I get unwanted emails for free credit reports, jobs (I didn't know Jiffy Lube was interested in me), teeth whitening, gym memberships (one of the last things on earth I would buy), romantic getaways, waffle makers, laser treatments for hair loss, cordless electric knives, and a host of other things that make me glad my laptop has a "delete" button.
Unfortunately, there appears to be no way to totally escape these unwanted intrusions, but I have learned some ways to reduce the annoyance. When I bring in the mail, I go through it while I am next to the recycle container. I always tear up credit card applications (my name and address are pre-printed on the applications). Anything from an insurance company that is not the one I use goes into the recycle container. Catalogues from places I never patronize go in as well. Advertisements for replacement windows, siding, trash collection, etc., never make it any further. It is a shame to think about all of those trees  dying for nothing, but at least things get recycled, so it is not a total waste.
For telephone calls, I have found that registering for the "Do Not Call" list is of limited value, since non-profits are exempt, and many hire professional fundraisers, whom I detest. Almost all of them, though, use computers which dial multiple phone numbers simultaneously. When someone answers, the solicitor connects and starts the pitch. When I answer the phone and hear nothing, I know it is a telephone solicitor, so I hang up before the computer connects me. I don't know how many "worthy causes" I am missing the opportunity to support, but I am OK with the loss.
My email has a "Junk Mail" option which adds the email sender to a list of email addresses that are blocked, but I have not found this to be totally effective (it seems like some of them use multiple email addresses). One thing I have found helpful if to look at the bottom of the emails for a link to "unsubscribe". Clicking on this either instantly takes me off their list or does so within ten days, and I am finding fewer unwanted emails in my in box these days.
It is a shame that I can't prevent mail, emails and phone calls that I don't want in the first place, but my recycle container and Trash folder in my emails get a workout, and we all have William Faulkner to thank for pointing out that we do not have to feel the least bit guilty about it.

Things you didn't think you needed to know...and probably don't

One of the reference books on my bookcase (next to the Australian Dictionary of Vulgarities and Obscenities) is the Book of Useless Information (an Official Publication of the Useless Information Society). You may think that reading this book is a total waste of time but, before you go that far, ask yourself, as Shakespeare did: "Just how useless is useless?"
My response to this question? Well, you just never can tell; knowing this might just come in handy some day. Then again, maybe not. Let me share a few examples, and you can decide for yourself.
- Andrew Jackson was the only president to believe that the world is flat.
- Leonardo Da Vinci spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.
- Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
- Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.
- Christopher Columbus had blonde hair.
- Keanu Reeves's first name means "cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian.
- In 1953, Marilyn Monroe appeared as the first Playboy centerfold.
- Clark Gable used to shower more than four times a day.
- Ringo Starr was born during a World War II air raid.
- The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.
- The first CD pressed in the United States was Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA.
- Elvis loved to eat meatloaf.
- Every day, more money is printed for Monopoly  than by the U.S. Treasury.
- According to Pope Innocent III, it was not a crime to kill someone after a game of chess.
- Miss Piggy's measurements are 27-20-36.
- One in every four Americans has appeared on television.
- The characters of Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi  driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
- Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
- Donald Duck cartoons were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
- Because metal was scarce, Academy Awards given our during World War II were made of wood.
- Smokey the Bear's zip code is 20252.
- Keeping Warm with an Ax is the title of a real how-to book.
- Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
- The last word in the Bible is Amen.
- Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
- The phrase "rule of thumb" comes from an old English law stating that you could not beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
- Clans long ago who wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn down their houses - hence the expression "get fired".
- The Old English word for sneeze if fneosam.
- A klazomaniac is someone who feels like shouting.
- Spat out food is called chanking.
- The oldest word in the English language is town.
- No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
- November 19 is Have a Bad Day Day.
- Coca-Cola was originally green.
- Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and then stick it in the beer.
- Peanuts are cholesterol-free. They are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
- Grapes explode when you put them in a microwave.
- There is no such thing as blue food - even blueberries are purple.
- The only food that does not spoil is honey. It is used as a center in golf balls and in antifreeze mixtures.
- A can of SPM is opened every four seconds.
- Vanilla is used to make chocolate.
- Chewing gum while peeling opinions will keep your from crying.
- Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
There are currently twenty-nine members of the Useless Information Society. Do you have a burning desire to be number thirty?