The title of this piece is a quote from Michael Corleone in the Godfather movie trilogy. "Hate" is a term that is deeply infused into our culture, but little thought about, especially in the context used by Don Michael.
Every day, we say things like "I hate to tell you this..." or "I hate to be late", but, do we truly hate either? To me, "hate" brings with it such a strong emotional reaction that needs to be dialed back in most situations. For example, I can think of a couple of people for whom I worked in the past who mistreated me through abuse of their power. I can say that I dislike them, have no respect for them, and think they are assholes, but I don't say I hate them because they are simply not worth the energy I would want to assign to something I hate. To me, hating something takes time and effort, and most things simply don't deserve the energy expenditure. I would also be concerned that, like Michael Corleone, I might over-react or do or say something I would later regret. I am much better off saying that I don't like something, or don't attach any importance to it (like the Real Housewives of New Jersey).
There is good behavior and bad behavior, in varying degrees of each, in all of us. Fortunately, most of us tend to lean toward good behavior, but the potential to stray is always there. What keeps us from behaving badly? I could say that it's illegal, my parents taught me better, I would be embarrassed at what others might think, that I would not want to deal with negative consequences, etc. While there is still plenty of bad behavior out there, it is not something I would deliberately do, and I would not want to allow my emotions (including anger) to allow me to be rude, vindictive, or abusive. I am fortunate that my self-control is above average and, when it wavers, there are generally people around me who can point this out to me and keep me from doing something foolish or illegal.
I am also fortunate in being able to look back upon people who may have treated me badly and to be able to think that they may be bullies and assholes, but I do not hate them; they aren't worth the effort.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
When you take a look around this place, medical school can't be all that hard.
I started working in hospitals in 1973, when I was still in high school. The experience over the years has provided exposure to me of hundreds of doctors and thousands of nurses. Like any profession, one can experience the entire spectrum of skill and competency, from world-class to "they should be in jail".
Fortunately my good experiences have far outnumbered the bad, but the negatives tend to be better remembered, much like you would remember a clerk in a store more clearly than you would a polite one. In my early years as a nurse, I found that surgeons (or at least the majority of those I met) were extremely entitled "because we make money for this place and you don't". In one hospital where I worked, the Medical Records Department had refreshments available to entice them to show up and finish incomplete medical records. The physicians never worried about having their privileges suspended, because they were needed to be on-call.
I recall another physician who had totally illegible handwriting. It was basically a squiggle broken up to imply words. The hospital got denied payment from insurance companies because they could not read his handwriting. One would think the hospital would require him to write legibly but, even though he was an ass, he was an ass that generated a lot of revenue, so he was disinclined to straighten up. In the end, the hospital provided a person to take his dictation and type up his documentation for him to sign.
I found that working with physicians who had privileges, rather than being employees of the hospital, could sometimes be a challenge. They came into the hospital to see the patients on their service, and were gone by lunchtime to their offices to see patients in their private practice. If you needed them to come back to the hospital for anything, they simply wouldn't do it, but were more then willing to provide orders you might need over the telephone. I recall one physician I worked with when I was a staff nurse who, when I would call him at night, was always drunk. Before I called him, I prepared a list of what I needed. I would then call him and go through the list. His response was always "fine" and he would hang up the phone.
I have to admit that I would never want to be a physician. What one has to learn to graduate from medical school is staggering. After that comes a multi-year residency. This is an opportunity for new doctors to not only apply the knowledge from medical school, but to also expand and refine that knowledge. While residency gets better as it progresses, the beginning can be extremely stressful. You could always tell the new residents by the amount of "stuff" in the pockets of their lab coat (stethoscope, flashlight, reflex hammer, numerous reference books, etc.) compared to the senior resident, who only carried a pen in his shirt pocket. Today, with the advances in electronics, the reference books are gone, so the difference in what they carry is a bit less.
Where many young physicians get in trouble is being able to apply their knowledge in a practical and safe way. They have learned the subject material in school, they have passed the exam, but now they have to be able to use it to care for patients.
Enter Rachel. Rachel was a nurse in the Emergency Department at the hospital where I worked at the time and who had been one of my mentors. She was older ("seasoned" is probably the preferred term) who tolerated me because I was there to learn from her and took advantage of her wisdom and experience. Many new residents, on the other hand, thought they knew everything, and did not seek advice from Rachel and others when it would have been extremely prudent to do so.
While most residents caught on and learned the importance of listening and collaborating, the new ones who didn't get it were sometimes an ordeal to tolerate.
The title of this piece is a quote from Rachel when a new crop of residents started in July, and she was exposed to some know-it-alls. I think we have all be exposed to individuals at one time or another who have impressive academic credentials, but it really doesn't matter because they can't think their way out of a paper bag. Another one of my favorite quotes from Rachel: "Those two couldn't diagnose a decapitation."
From my perspective, I am less focused on the letters after someone's name; I really don't care what degrees or certifications they have. To me, the most important thing is that you know their job and do it well. That's how you avoid Rachel's wrath.
Fortunately my good experiences have far outnumbered the bad, but the negatives tend to be better remembered, much like you would remember a clerk in a store more clearly than you would a polite one. In my early years as a nurse, I found that surgeons (or at least the majority of those I met) were extremely entitled "because we make money for this place and you don't". In one hospital where I worked, the Medical Records Department had refreshments available to entice them to show up and finish incomplete medical records. The physicians never worried about having their privileges suspended, because they were needed to be on-call.
I recall another physician who had totally illegible handwriting. It was basically a squiggle broken up to imply words. The hospital got denied payment from insurance companies because they could not read his handwriting. One would think the hospital would require him to write legibly but, even though he was an ass, he was an ass that generated a lot of revenue, so he was disinclined to straighten up. In the end, the hospital provided a person to take his dictation and type up his documentation for him to sign.
I found that working with physicians who had privileges, rather than being employees of the hospital, could sometimes be a challenge. They came into the hospital to see the patients on their service, and were gone by lunchtime to their offices to see patients in their private practice. If you needed them to come back to the hospital for anything, they simply wouldn't do it, but were more then willing to provide orders you might need over the telephone. I recall one physician I worked with when I was a staff nurse who, when I would call him at night, was always drunk. Before I called him, I prepared a list of what I needed. I would then call him and go through the list. His response was always "fine" and he would hang up the phone.
I have to admit that I would never want to be a physician. What one has to learn to graduate from medical school is staggering. After that comes a multi-year residency. This is an opportunity for new doctors to not only apply the knowledge from medical school, but to also expand and refine that knowledge. While residency gets better as it progresses, the beginning can be extremely stressful. You could always tell the new residents by the amount of "stuff" in the pockets of their lab coat (stethoscope, flashlight, reflex hammer, numerous reference books, etc.) compared to the senior resident, who only carried a pen in his shirt pocket. Today, with the advances in electronics, the reference books are gone, so the difference in what they carry is a bit less.
Where many young physicians get in trouble is being able to apply their knowledge in a practical and safe way. They have learned the subject material in school, they have passed the exam, but now they have to be able to use it to care for patients.
Enter Rachel. Rachel was a nurse in the Emergency Department at the hospital where I worked at the time and who had been one of my mentors. She was older ("seasoned" is probably the preferred term) who tolerated me because I was there to learn from her and took advantage of her wisdom and experience. Many new residents, on the other hand, thought they knew everything, and did not seek advice from Rachel and others when it would have been extremely prudent to do so.
While most residents caught on and learned the importance of listening and collaborating, the new ones who didn't get it were sometimes an ordeal to tolerate.
The title of this piece is a quote from Rachel when a new crop of residents started in July, and she was exposed to some know-it-alls. I think we have all be exposed to individuals at one time or another who have impressive academic credentials, but it really doesn't matter because they can't think their way out of a paper bag. Another one of my favorite quotes from Rachel: "Those two couldn't diagnose a decapitation."
From my perspective, I am less focused on the letters after someone's name; I really don't care what degrees or certifications they have. To me, the most important thing is that you know their job and do it well. That's how you avoid Rachel's wrath.
Monday, November 11, 2013
People have every right to send me letters, and I have every right not to read them.
The title of this piece is a quote from the author William Faulkner. While I am not a fan of his work, I can certainly appreciate his curmudgeonly attitude toward unwanted communication. We live in a world in which we are bombarded with emails, phone calls, and snail mail from people and organizations that don't have a clue who we but who would be glad to have our business.
While I welcome hearing from people I know, I sometimes get a tad bit annoyed with the other intrusions upon my solitude. My home email address must have been sold to a bunch of people and organizations. I get unwanted emails for free credit reports, jobs (I didn't know Jiffy Lube was interested in me), teeth whitening, gym memberships (one of the last things on earth I would buy), romantic getaways, waffle makers, laser treatments for hair loss, cordless electric knives, and a host of other things that make me glad my laptop has a "delete" button.
Unfortunately, there appears to be no way to totally escape these unwanted intrusions, but I have learned some ways to reduce the annoyance. When I bring in the mail, I go through it while I am next to the recycle container. I always tear up credit card applications (my name and address are pre-printed on the applications). Anything from an insurance company that is not the one I use goes into the recycle container. Catalogues from places I never patronize go in as well. Advertisements for replacement windows, siding, trash collection, etc., never make it any further. It is a shame to think about all of those trees dying for nothing, but at least things get recycled, so it is not a total waste.
For telephone calls, I have found that registering for the "Do Not Call" list is of limited value, since non-profits are exempt, and many hire professional fundraisers, whom I detest. Almost all of them, though, use computers which dial multiple phone numbers simultaneously. When someone answers, the solicitor connects and starts the pitch. When I answer the phone and hear nothing, I know it is a telephone solicitor, so I hang up before the computer connects me. I don't know how many "worthy causes" I am missing the opportunity to support, but I am OK with the loss.
My email has a "Junk Mail" option which adds the email sender to a list of email addresses that are blocked, but I have not found this to be totally effective (it seems like some of them use multiple email addresses). One thing I have found helpful if to look at the bottom of the emails for a link to "unsubscribe". Clicking on this either instantly takes me off their list or does so within ten days, and I am finding fewer unwanted emails in my in box these days.
It is a shame that I can't prevent mail, emails and phone calls that I don't want in the first place, but my recycle container and Trash folder in my emails get a workout, and we all have William Faulkner to thank for pointing out that we do not have to feel the least bit guilty about it.
While I welcome hearing from people I know, I sometimes get a tad bit annoyed with the other intrusions upon my solitude. My home email address must have been sold to a bunch of people and organizations. I get unwanted emails for free credit reports, jobs (I didn't know Jiffy Lube was interested in me), teeth whitening, gym memberships (one of the last things on earth I would buy), romantic getaways, waffle makers, laser treatments for hair loss, cordless electric knives, and a host of other things that make me glad my laptop has a "delete" button.
Unfortunately, there appears to be no way to totally escape these unwanted intrusions, but I have learned some ways to reduce the annoyance. When I bring in the mail, I go through it while I am next to the recycle container. I always tear up credit card applications (my name and address are pre-printed on the applications). Anything from an insurance company that is not the one I use goes into the recycle container. Catalogues from places I never patronize go in as well. Advertisements for replacement windows, siding, trash collection, etc., never make it any further. It is a shame to think about all of those trees dying for nothing, but at least things get recycled, so it is not a total waste.
For telephone calls, I have found that registering for the "Do Not Call" list is of limited value, since non-profits are exempt, and many hire professional fundraisers, whom I detest. Almost all of them, though, use computers which dial multiple phone numbers simultaneously. When someone answers, the solicitor connects and starts the pitch. When I answer the phone and hear nothing, I know it is a telephone solicitor, so I hang up before the computer connects me. I don't know how many "worthy causes" I am missing the opportunity to support, but I am OK with the loss.
My email has a "Junk Mail" option which adds the email sender to a list of email addresses that are blocked, but I have not found this to be totally effective (it seems like some of them use multiple email addresses). One thing I have found helpful if to look at the bottom of the emails for a link to "unsubscribe". Clicking on this either instantly takes me off their list or does so within ten days, and I am finding fewer unwanted emails in my in box these days.
It is a shame that I can't prevent mail, emails and phone calls that I don't want in the first place, but my recycle container and Trash folder in my emails get a workout, and we all have William Faulkner to thank for pointing out that we do not have to feel the least bit guilty about it.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Things you didn't think you needed to know...and probably don't
One of the reference books on my bookcase (next to the Australian Dictionary of Vulgarities and Obscenities) is the Book of Useless Information (an Official Publication of the Useless Information Society). You may think that reading this book is a total waste of time but, before you go that far, ask yourself, as Shakespeare did: "Just how useless is useless?"
My response to this question? Well, you just never can tell; knowing this might just come in handy some day. Then again, maybe not. Let me share a few examples, and you can decide for yourself.
- Andrew Jackson was the only president to believe that the world is flat.
- Leonardo Da Vinci spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.
- Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
- Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.
- Christopher Columbus had blonde hair.
- Keanu Reeves's first name means "cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian.
- In 1953, Marilyn Monroe appeared as the first Playboy centerfold.
- Clark Gable used to shower more than four times a day.
- Ringo Starr was born during a World War II air raid.
- The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.
- The first CD pressed in the United States was Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA.
- Elvis loved to eat meatloaf.
- Every day, more money is printed for Monopoly than by the U.S. Treasury.
- According to Pope Innocent III, it was not a crime to kill someone after a game of chess.
- Miss Piggy's measurements are 27-20-36.
- One in every four Americans has appeared on television.
- The characters of Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
- Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
- Donald Duck cartoons were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
- Because metal was scarce, Academy Awards given our during World War II were made of wood.
- Smokey the Bear's zip code is 20252.
- Keeping Warm with an Ax is the title of a real how-to book.
- Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
- The last word in the Bible is Amen.
- Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
- The phrase "rule of thumb" comes from an old English law stating that you could not beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
- Clans long ago who wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn down their houses - hence the expression "get fired".
- The Old English word for sneeze if fneosam.
- A klazomaniac is someone who feels like shouting.
- Spat out food is called chanking.
- The oldest word in the English language is town.
- No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
- November 19 is Have a Bad Day Day.
- Coca-Cola was originally green.
- Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and then stick it in the beer.
- Peanuts are cholesterol-free. They are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
- Grapes explode when you put them in a microwave.
- There is no such thing as blue food - even blueberries are purple.
- The only food that does not spoil is honey. It is used as a center in golf balls and in antifreeze mixtures.
- A can of SPM is opened every four seconds.
- Vanilla is used to make chocolate.
- Chewing gum while peeling opinions will keep your from crying.
- Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
There are currently twenty-nine members of the Useless Information Society. Do you have a burning desire to be number thirty?
My response to this question? Well, you just never can tell; knowing this might just come in handy some day. Then again, maybe not. Let me share a few examples, and you can decide for yourself.
- Andrew Jackson was the only president to believe that the world is flat.
- Leonardo Da Vinci spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.
- Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
- Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.
- Christopher Columbus had blonde hair.
- Keanu Reeves's first name means "cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian.
- In 1953, Marilyn Monroe appeared as the first Playboy centerfold.
- Clark Gable used to shower more than four times a day.
- Ringo Starr was born during a World War II air raid.
- The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.
- The first CD pressed in the United States was Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA.
- Elvis loved to eat meatloaf.
- Every day, more money is printed for Monopoly than by the U.S. Treasury.
- According to Pope Innocent III, it was not a crime to kill someone after a game of chess.
- Miss Piggy's measurements are 27-20-36.
- One in every four Americans has appeared on television.
- The characters of Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
- Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
- Donald Duck cartoons were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
- Because metal was scarce, Academy Awards given our during World War II were made of wood.
- Smokey the Bear's zip code is 20252.
- Keeping Warm with an Ax is the title of a real how-to book.
- Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
- The last word in the Bible is Amen.
- Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
- The phrase "rule of thumb" comes from an old English law stating that you could not beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
- Clans long ago who wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn down their houses - hence the expression "get fired".
- The Old English word for sneeze if fneosam.
- A klazomaniac is someone who feels like shouting.
- Spat out food is called chanking.
- The oldest word in the English language is town.
- No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
- November 19 is Have a Bad Day Day.
- Coca-Cola was originally green.
- Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and then stick it in the beer.
- Peanuts are cholesterol-free. They are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
- Grapes explode when you put them in a microwave.
- There is no such thing as blue food - even blueberries are purple.
- The only food that does not spoil is honey. It is used as a center in golf balls and in antifreeze mixtures.
- A can of SPM is opened every four seconds.
- Vanilla is used to make chocolate.
- Chewing gum while peeling opinions will keep your from crying.
- Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
There are currently twenty-nine members of the Useless Information Society. Do you have a burning desire to be number thirty?
Friday, October 18, 2013
Congress: Monkeys With Guns
Even though the government shutdown is over, the trauma it created lingers on. The title of this piece comes from a description that someone I know gave to a group of individuals he was dealing with who thought they knew what they were doing but clearly didn't. I think it is also a pretty good description for Congress, a group that can be quite dangerous and destructive in their collective ignorance and ineptitude.
Whatever reason individual members of Congress may give for bringing about the government shutdown, none make any sense, and the outcome served no useful purpose. Mindless and destructive, just like the character in the picture.
Looking forward, it will be interesting to see what the next election cycle brings. I saw a poll in which 60% of the respondents said that all of Congress should be fired. It is hard to argue with that sentiment. If you or I acted like them, we would probably end up in jail.
As a result of the shutdown, will we see any changes in America's political system? I think it highly unlikely. The Monkeys With Guns who brought about the debacle in the first place would be the same ones who would need to initiate constructive change. From this buch, it's simply too much to hope for.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Congress: You Suck (but thanks)
Last week, I was driving with my wife to Mount Desert Island for a long-planned vacation. I had rented a cottage on the shore in Manset, part of Southwest Harbor. As I was driving through Trenton, approaching the causeway onto the island, my wife pointed out a sign in front of one of the local businesses which said, "Congress: You Suck".
Thinking of the government shutdown, truer words were probably never spoken. While there are no doubt some very nice individuals in Congress, they are, without a doubt, the most dysfunctional collective of jackasses on the face of the planet. It is sad to think that many functions provided by the government, such as food assistance to the poor, counseling for veterans, food inspections, research into cancer, and a host of other badly needed services were not being provided, with hundreds of thousands of people being basically laid off without pay. All of this going on, while the people responsible for causing it (Congress) are still getting paid, makes it hard to understand how Congress could possibly have an approval rating as high as 10%. (As a mental health professional, I am very much interested in meeting some of that 10%; they obviously need some help.)
In addition to all of the pain and suffering the shutdown was inflicting upon individuals, Acadia National Park, where I intended to spend much of my vacation, was closed. I was not pleased. I had rented the cottage 10 months before, and my oldest daughter and her husband were driving up from Pennsylvania to spend the week with us. Knowing that we couldn't go to the park was a major disappointment.
Fortunately, Mount Desert Island is over 100 square miles, and there are other things to do besides go to Acadia National Park. As we were enjoying some of these other pursuits, I heard from some people that one could park your vehicle outside the park boundaries and walk into the park, and no one would stop you.
In Acadia, Park Loop Road runs along the eastern side of the island looking out over Frenchman's Bay and the Atlantic Ocean and provides some of the most spectacular scenery you could ever imagine. Looking at a map. I found that Otter Cliff Road, which is not part of the park, runs into Park Loop Road near the Otter Cliffs. We drove down the road and, at the end, there were sawhorses and a gate providing a blockade, but we could park and walk onto Park Loop Road. A ranger was sitting in his vehicle chatting with tourists, and others just walked right by.
I have been coming to Acadia National Park for 50+ years, and I have to say that this was the best experience I ever had. Usually, one drives on Park Loop Road, stopping and getting out of the car periodically to enjoy the views. When you are walking on the road (or the shore path next to the road), you see many things that you would miss if you were driving by in a car. Even though there were hundreds of other people scattered along the road and the shore, there are usually thousands, with buses and cars parked along the road. The lack of congestion and the sense that you were pretty much by yourself was something to treasure.
In addition to Park Loop Road, we found other areas of the park that we could easily access on foot. While we could not go up Cadillac Mountain or go to Jordan Pond, we found plenty of other places in the park that we could go, some that I had never seen before.
So, Congress, while your stupidity and ineptitude have created pain and suffering for countless thousands because of the needless government shutdown, you managed to make my vacation something I will never forget. For that (and nothing else), I thank you.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Never Kick a Fresh Turd on a Hot Day
The title of this piece is a quote from the late President, Harry Truman, and is sage advice on the potential dangers of acting (or reacting) impulsively. We all meet challenging people in our lives; sometimes we are married or related to them, sometimes we run into them at work, sometimes when we are just out in public. While we all know a lot of nice people, it's the ones that aren't so nice that get most or all of our attention, generate the most negative emotion (How can you be so effing stupid?), and tempt us to do or say something we might regret.
Being a Psych nurse, I have developed a tolerance over the years out of necessity. Awareness of the potential negative consequences to my bad behavior helps me to keep from doing something I would later regret, both at home and at work. I don't want to get fired, hurt, divorced, lose my nursing license, or go to jail.
When I am at home, it seems that I have much more control over dealing with people who annoy me. Fortunately, I am not required to interact with or even acknowledge the people who some might be tempted to euthanize. I don't have to like everyone (although there are many I do). For those I don't like, I need to tolerate them or just walk away. It may not be the choice everyone else would make, but it works for me.
Work, though, can be totally different at times, and not always in a good way. Some individuals, either as a result of their mental illness or their underlying personalities, can be just plain unlikable. Patients who are in psychiatric units present some unique challenges. When they behave badly, we cannot do anything which could be considered punitive (even though that's what would happen to us if we did the same thing). Filing legal charges, while sometimes desirable, often goes nowhere because the individual may not be competent to stand trial. We try to positively engage patients, treat them respectfully, and provide a safe environment for recovery. A few individuals with bad behavior, though, can totally negate all of the efforts we make. Interestingly, sometimes the person that you may have been tempted to strangle last week doesn't seem all that bad compared to the new patient who was admitted yesterday. Patients have their ups and downs, but often the bad behavior moderates or goes away over time. The challenge to us is to being able to tolerate them until then. Also helpful is the knowledge that not every day is a bad day, that you have good co-workers (or most of them, depending upon your perspective), and that, regardless, your workday eventually comes to an end and you go home.
For those days in which you are feeling challenged, angry, frustrated, and are struggling to keep your cool, just picture Harry whispering in your ear some advice about what not to kick.
Being a Psych nurse, I have developed a tolerance over the years out of necessity. Awareness of the potential negative consequences to my bad behavior helps me to keep from doing something I would later regret, both at home and at work. I don't want to get fired, hurt, divorced, lose my nursing license, or go to jail.
When I am at home, it seems that I have much more control over dealing with people who annoy me. Fortunately, I am not required to interact with or even acknowledge the people who some might be tempted to euthanize. I don't have to like everyone (although there are many I do). For those I don't like, I need to tolerate them or just walk away. It may not be the choice everyone else would make, but it works for me.
Work, though, can be totally different at times, and not always in a good way. Some individuals, either as a result of their mental illness or their underlying personalities, can be just plain unlikable. Patients who are in psychiatric units present some unique challenges. When they behave badly, we cannot do anything which could be considered punitive (even though that's what would happen to us if we did the same thing). Filing legal charges, while sometimes desirable, often goes nowhere because the individual may not be competent to stand trial. We try to positively engage patients, treat them respectfully, and provide a safe environment for recovery. A few individuals with bad behavior, though, can totally negate all of the efforts we make. Interestingly, sometimes the person that you may have been tempted to strangle last week doesn't seem all that bad compared to the new patient who was admitted yesterday. Patients have their ups and downs, but often the bad behavior moderates or goes away over time. The challenge to us is to being able to tolerate them until then. Also helpful is the knowledge that not every day is a bad day, that you have good co-workers (or most of them, depending upon your perspective), and that, regardless, your workday eventually comes to an end and you go home.
For those days in which you are feeling challenged, angry, frustrated, and are struggling to keep your cool, just picture Harry whispering in your ear some advice about what not to kick.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
The Two-Story Outhouse
The above cartoon is part of a collection that I have that illustrates pretty well what we all have probably experienced. The designer may have thought it was a good idea, but didn't clearly think about how functional it really was. Over the years, I have worked with people who were brilliant and highly skilled, as well as some who made decisions they were not the least bit competent to make.
I am pretty analytical, and I like to think things through when I have the opportunity. It doesn't mean I've never had a bad idea, but most of the ones I have had I allowed to die inside my head and did not inflict them upon others.
I would like to say this has been my experience with others, but that would only be partially true. I can think of several examples over the years where an organization was faced with a situation that required changing how things were done. In the best case scenario, leaders would look at the desired end result, what was needed to get there, and what were the best resources available to get us there. Unfortunately, instead of pursuing the best item out there sometimes the decision is made: "We already own this, let's make it fit (or work)." Think of the square peg in the round hole, "reconditioned" equipment, installing one of an item when you actually need four, etc.
One of the deadliest terms you can potentially encounter is "low bidder". Things today are not as bad as it used to be, but, in the past, many organizations pretty much exclusively went with the low bidder. Sometimes, that is an OK decision, but other times you end up with something like the cartoon above and end up paying much more to fix the mess.
While you may or may not have much influence on decision-making in your organization, especially when it comes to spending money (I, for example, can approve expenditures of up to $250; even I am not impressed), you have control in your private life. While you don't think in terms of low bidder, you want to make sure that the decisions you make are sound. The next time you go to make a substantial purchase or other important decision, ask yourself: "Is this a two-story outhouse?"
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Giving Birth to a Flaming Porcupine
As nurses, we are supposed to assess pain in our patients and provide "pain management". An important aspect of this task is trying to quantify the pain. In hospitals, scales to quantify pain have included the venerable "0-10 Scale" with 0 being pain-free and 10 being agony to such a degree that death would almost be welcome. Some places use the "faces" scale with an illustration of a face with a big smile for pain-free to one with a big frown at the other end of the spectrum. In working with people with cognitive impairments, the experts say to look for signs of pain, such as facial grimacing, guarding (drawing away from touch), moaning or yelling, etc. While this may be better than nothing, "We can do better".
Thinking outside the box, I would like to introduce the "Mitchell Pain Scale for People Who Don't Like Pain Scales" (copyright 2013). Going from pain-free to most severe pain, the scale includes:
- Eating your favorite Ben & Jerry's
- A paper cut
- Getting hit in the head by a dodgeball thrown by your mother
- Your laxative has kicked in
- Your ex-wife is squeezing your nuts
- Giving birth to a flaming porcupine
Although the scale in in beta and still needs reliability and validity testing, I think things are off to a good start. Five options is probably not enough, so please send me your suggestions to add to flesh things out. Be as descriptive as you can and let me know where you recommend it be on the scale. You are also welcome to submit alternate titles for the scale (maybe the "Flaming Porcupine Scale" would have more acceptance).
Who knows? Working together, we may come up with the biggest advance in health care in the last 50 years. Put on your thinking caps, and thanks for your help.
Thinking outside the box, I would like to introduce the "Mitchell Pain Scale for People Who Don't Like Pain Scales" (copyright 2013). Going from pain-free to most severe pain, the scale includes:
- Eating your favorite Ben & Jerry's
- A paper cut
- Getting hit in the head by a dodgeball thrown by your mother
- Your laxative has kicked in
- Your ex-wife is squeezing your nuts
- Giving birth to a flaming porcupine
Although the scale in in beta and still needs reliability and validity testing, I think things are off to a good start. Five options is probably not enough, so please send me your suggestions to add to flesh things out. Be as descriptive as you can and let me know where you recommend it be on the scale. You are also welcome to submit alternate titles for the scale (maybe the "Flaming Porcupine Scale" would have more acceptance).
Who knows? Working together, we may come up with the biggest advance in health care in the last 50 years. Put on your thinking caps, and thanks for your help.
Monday, June 3, 2013
WOMBAT
No, I'm not talking about a furry little critter from Australia. WOMBAT is an acronym that stands for "Waste Of Money, Breath, and Time". I learned about it many years ago from one of my fellow nurse managers in the UK. In my private life, I am opinionated, judgmental, and cranky. In my professional life, I have learned to leave most of it at home (or keep it to myself) and to do my best to be reasonably polite.
The cranky me thinks there are a lot of WOMBATS out there. Among them are:
- anyone named Kardashian
- Real Housewives of anywhere
- televised golf
- airline travel
- meetings just to have meetings
- rap music
- people who call themselves "experts" (if they are, they don't need to tell you)
- Congress
- sleeping late (I just can't do it)
- traffic circles
- Suggested Retail Price
- junk emails
- zoning permits
- automated phone answering systems
- pennies
- exercise (people jogging during a rain storm is just wrong)
- tofu
- "celebrities" who think I need to know what they are up to
Although the list is not exhaustive, it gives you an idea that I am a bit of a curmudgeon (at least part-time). On the bright side, all of the WOMBATs in my life have increased my tolerance dramatically so that my proudest achievement is actually that I am NOT doing 25-to-life.
How about you? Any WOMBATs in your life?
The cranky me thinks there are a lot of WOMBATS out there. Among them are:
- anyone named Kardashian
- Real Housewives of anywhere
- televised golf
- airline travel
- meetings just to have meetings
- rap music
- people who call themselves "experts" (if they are, they don't need to tell you)
- Congress
- sleeping late (I just can't do it)
- traffic circles
- Suggested Retail Price
- junk emails
- zoning permits
- automated phone answering systems
- pennies
- exercise (people jogging during a rain storm is just wrong)
- tofu
- "celebrities" who think I need to know what they are up to
Although the list is not exhaustive, it gives you an idea that I am a bit of a curmudgeon (at least part-time). On the bright side, all of the WOMBATs in my life have increased my tolerance dramatically so that my proudest achievement is actually that I am NOT doing 25-to-life.
How about you? Any WOMBATs in your life?
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Giving the Finger
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and one would therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!" Since "pluck Yew" is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative "F" and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
And yew thought yew knew everything.
This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!" Since "pluck Yew" is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative "F" and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
And yew thought yew knew everything.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Only two good things ever came out of Italy, and Sophia Loren's got both of them
My late father was a UCC (United Church of Christ) minister, but he was also quite a chauvinist. The title of this piece was just one example of his sayings. Fortunately, he restricted his chauvinism to the privacy of our home, although why my mother didn't kill him years ago remains a mystery to me and my siblings.
My mother was an elementary school teacher and, while she didn't take crap from anyone else, she seemed to have a fair degree of tolerance for him. Sometimes, though, he came close to stepping over the line. Her pet name for him was "Jackass" and he seemed to always know that, when he was addressed by that endearing moniker, that it was time to back off or die.
My younger sister, the other female in the house, also occasionally was the target of his not-always appreciated sense of humor. Her nickname, based upon her chest, was "Flatso". Despite such endearments, they were actually quite close. (Her nickname for him was "Geezer".)
In public, my father conducted himself the way you would expect a minister to act: respectful, supportive, and humorous without being extreme. He was a volunteer fireman, drove the ambulance, and mentored younger clergymen. If only they knew what he was really like.
In life, we learn by seeing both how things are done and how they are not done. My father provided both examples, though most were how things should be done. Among the things I learned from him were:
- honesty
- importance of family and friends
- being respectful toward others
- money isn't everything
- if you're going to be a jerk, do it in private
- some women have to unbutton their blouses to count to two
(Damn; sorry about that. Not everything I learned was helpful.)
For me, being a nurse and working in a profession that is 95% female, I would never follow in his footsteps to chauvinism. If I had, I would probably be dead (or severely disabled). Despite the challenges of growing up with my father, and the challenges I gave him growing up, I guess I turned out OK.
My mother was an elementary school teacher and, while she didn't take crap from anyone else, she seemed to have a fair degree of tolerance for him. Sometimes, though, he came close to stepping over the line. Her pet name for him was "Jackass" and he seemed to always know that, when he was addressed by that endearing moniker, that it was time to back off or die.
My younger sister, the other female in the house, also occasionally was the target of his not-always appreciated sense of humor. Her nickname, based upon her chest, was "Flatso". Despite such endearments, they were actually quite close. (Her nickname for him was "Geezer".)
In public, my father conducted himself the way you would expect a minister to act: respectful, supportive, and humorous without being extreme. He was a volunteer fireman, drove the ambulance, and mentored younger clergymen. If only they knew what he was really like.
In life, we learn by seeing both how things are done and how they are not done. My father provided both examples, though most were how things should be done. Among the things I learned from him were:
- honesty
- importance of family and friends
- being respectful toward others
- money isn't everything
- if you're going to be a jerk, do it in private
- some women have to unbutton their blouses to count to two
(Damn; sorry about that. Not everything I learned was helpful.)
For me, being a nurse and working in a profession that is 95% female, I would never follow in his footsteps to chauvinism. If I had, I would probably be dead (or severely disabled). Despite the challenges of growing up with my father, and the challenges I gave him growing up, I guess I turned out OK.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
How Hot is it in Hell?
This is a true story.
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulation given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year that "It would be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, than #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulation given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year that "It would be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, than #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Obstructed Airways in Texas
Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools away began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was turning blue and was obviously in serious respiratory distress.
One cowboy said to the other, "That girl is having a rough time."
The other agreed and said, "Think we should help?"
"You bet." said the first.
He ran over to the woman and asked, "Can you breathe?"
She shook her head no. "Can you speak?"
She shook her head no again. With that, the cowboy pulled up her skirt and licked her on the buttocks. The woman was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe with great relief.
Returning to his friend, the Texan said, "Funny how that hind lick maneuver works every time."
One cowboy said to the other, "That girl is having a rough time."
The other agreed and said, "Think we should help?"
"You bet." said the first.
He ran over to the woman and asked, "Can you breathe?"
She shook her head no. "Can you speak?"
She shook her head no again. With that, the cowboy pulled up her skirt and licked her on the buttocks. The woman was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe with great relief.
Returning to his friend, the Texan said, "Funny how that hind lick maneuver works every time."
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
When you're riding a dead horse...
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In my leadership training, I have learned that a whole range of far more advanced strategies are employed, such as:
- Buying a stronger whip.
- Changing riders.
- Threatening the horse with termination.
- Appointing a committee to study the horse.
- Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
- Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
- Re-classifying the dead horse as "living impaired".
- Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
- Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
- Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
- Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
- Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and
therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other
horses.
- Re-writing the expected performance requirements for all horses.
- Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
In my leadership training, I have learned that a whole range of far more advanced strategies are employed, such as:
- Buying a stronger whip.
- Changing riders.
- Threatening the horse with termination.
- Appointing a committee to study the horse.
- Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
- Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
- Re-classifying the dead horse as "living impaired".
- Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
- Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
- Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
- Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
- Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and
therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other
horses.
- Re-writing the expected performance requirements for all horses.
- Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Did he need killin'?
As a manager, I have, over the years, had to resort to the disciplinary action process with some employees. It is certainly not my preference to go this route, and, fortunately, I have been lucky enough to work with staffs over the years where the majority were solid and reliable.
Rather than reprimands, suspensions, and terminations, I prefer to work with people to help them to modify behaviors. Sitting down with someone for a quiet chat in private, one can have a discussion about the perceived issue and hopefully enlist the employees help in correcting the concern.
That being said, this does not always work and it can be quite challenging sometimes to hold someone accountable. I believe very strongly in treating everyone equally regarding accountability. In order to do that, one needs to have clear expectations that are communicated to all. Unfortunately, we do not always have the tools we need to do this. I have worked in places that have had no standard for attendance, for example. People can call off sick with staggering frequency, but they are not violating any policy in doing so. People's interpersonal interactions can run the entire spectrum from extremely rude to polite and respectful, but is influenced to a high degree by subjectivity that can be highly variable.
The decision to go the disciplinary action route can be made for you based upon the severity or frequency of the offense. Falsifying a time sheet or being negligent that results in harm to someone are pretty definitely going to require more than an informal chat.
Thinking about this, I am reminded of a story told long ago in one of my management training classes. A good ol' boy Sheriff was called to the scene of a murder in Mississippi. Upon arriving on the scene, the first question he asked his deputy was, "Well, did he need killin'?" In considering disciplinary action, I ask myself whether or not it is needed. Fortunately, most often it is not.
Most of the time, people do things right. If they didn't, not much would work in this world and those of us who were managers would hate our jobs. If disciplinary action is necessary, do it, but answer the question as to whether or not it is necessary.
So, the next time you are faced with a difficult challenge that may require an unpopular decision, remember the Sheriff, and ask yourself: Does he need killin'?
Rather than reprimands, suspensions, and terminations, I prefer to work with people to help them to modify behaviors. Sitting down with someone for a quiet chat in private, one can have a discussion about the perceived issue and hopefully enlist the employees help in correcting the concern.
That being said, this does not always work and it can be quite challenging sometimes to hold someone accountable. I believe very strongly in treating everyone equally regarding accountability. In order to do that, one needs to have clear expectations that are communicated to all. Unfortunately, we do not always have the tools we need to do this. I have worked in places that have had no standard for attendance, for example. People can call off sick with staggering frequency, but they are not violating any policy in doing so. People's interpersonal interactions can run the entire spectrum from extremely rude to polite and respectful, but is influenced to a high degree by subjectivity that can be highly variable.
The decision to go the disciplinary action route can be made for you based upon the severity or frequency of the offense. Falsifying a time sheet or being negligent that results in harm to someone are pretty definitely going to require more than an informal chat.
Thinking about this, I am reminded of a story told long ago in one of my management training classes. A good ol' boy Sheriff was called to the scene of a murder in Mississippi. Upon arriving on the scene, the first question he asked his deputy was, "Well, did he need killin'?" In considering disciplinary action, I ask myself whether or not it is needed. Fortunately, most often it is not.
Most of the time, people do things right. If they didn't, not much would work in this world and those of us who were managers would hate our jobs. If disciplinary action is necessary, do it, but answer the question as to whether or not it is necessary.
So, the next time you are faced with a difficult challenge that may require an unpopular decision, remember the Sheriff, and ask yourself: Does he need killin'?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously
The title of this piece is a quote from the late Vice President Hubert Humphrey. When I first moved to Vermont, I was struck by the impression that it seemed like everyone had an opinion about everything. Since I don't (see my earlier piece entitled "I Don't Care"), I had a little trouble relating to this. Even though I don't really understand, I have learned to accept the idea.
Vermont has a quaint culture that is inclusive and which can be quite positive. Town Meeting Day is an example of this inclusivity and offers everyone an opportunity to participate in debate and decision-making. While this can be a good thing, there is good judgment and bad judgment, so being inclusive can be a mixed blessing, which leads me to Hubert's quote.
Working in State government, I am in an environment in which Public Meetings are a common practice. How public meetings get communicated to the public varies, but the "official" notification is to post a notice on the State's Department of Libraries website. Why it gets announced here escapes me, but it probably goes a long way toward explaining why I am pretty much totally unaware of most of the public meetings are being held.
Depending upon the topic, some meetings generate a great deal of interest and draw decent-sized crowds. The discussion can be quite interesting, with the potential for some of the opinions expressed to be a bit out there. That being said, people have every right to express these opinions, and I will always make a point of listening politely (good manners are important regardless of my personal opinion of what is being said).
One of the potential pitfalls one can encounter in these situations can occur when someone offers an opinion or a suggestion that there is no way on earth you are going to follow through on it. While you may have perfectly good reasons for doing so, the complaint you may get is that the individual who offered the advice is "not being heard". Some people hold the belief that, if they offer suggestion to a public official, that suggestion should be followed; being heard is just not enough. Sometimes, though, the answer needs to be "no", and one needs to learn many tactful ways to say so.
That being said, the inclusive culture in Vermont is not going to go away, so I need to ensure that one is "being heard". While we are listening, though, remember Hubert's observation.
Vermont has a quaint culture that is inclusive and which can be quite positive. Town Meeting Day is an example of this inclusivity and offers everyone an opportunity to participate in debate and decision-making. While this can be a good thing, there is good judgment and bad judgment, so being inclusive can be a mixed blessing, which leads me to Hubert's quote.
Working in State government, I am in an environment in which Public Meetings are a common practice. How public meetings get communicated to the public varies, but the "official" notification is to post a notice on the State's Department of Libraries website. Why it gets announced here escapes me, but it probably goes a long way toward explaining why I am pretty much totally unaware of most of the public meetings are being held.
Depending upon the topic, some meetings generate a great deal of interest and draw decent-sized crowds. The discussion can be quite interesting, with the potential for some of the opinions expressed to be a bit out there. That being said, people have every right to express these opinions, and I will always make a point of listening politely (good manners are important regardless of my personal opinion of what is being said).
One of the potential pitfalls one can encounter in these situations can occur when someone offers an opinion or a suggestion that there is no way on earth you are going to follow through on it. While you may have perfectly good reasons for doing so, the complaint you may get is that the individual who offered the advice is "not being heard". Some people hold the belief that, if they offer suggestion to a public official, that suggestion should be followed; being heard is just not enough. Sometimes, though, the answer needs to be "no", and one needs to learn many tactful ways to say so.
That being said, the inclusive culture in Vermont is not going to go away, so I need to ensure that one is "being heard". While we are listening, though, remember Hubert's observation.
Monday, January 21, 2013
"My country, right or wrong" is like saying "My mother, drunk or sober"
The title of this piece is from author GK Chesterton. Although he was talking about patriotism, we could easily interpret this statement to be talking about any rigid or strongly-held belief.
The problem with adopting this mindset is that life around us is constantly changing, and it is highly unlikely that any two situations are exactly alike. There are countless examples of how we vary our approaches to situations. With driving a car over the same stretch of road, for example, we are going to do it differently in a blinding snowstorm as opposed to on a bright sunny day. We change our approach when our children are oppositional to get them to comply. We change our spending habits in response to changes in our income.
Are we all flexible and responsive to changes in our lives? Certainly not. We all know individuals for whom rigid inflexibility keeps them in their comfort zone, regardless of how silly or frustrating this may appear to those of us who can flex. If you work in a factory making widgets, all of which must be exactly the same, this mindset can be an asset, but it can become a handicap once you step outside of the factory and have to deal with the rest of the world with all of its' vagaries and challenges.
If you happen to work in a place where flexible thinking is an asset, but you have some widget makers as co-workers, stress and conflict are sure to arise. Over the years, I have worked with nurses who "always do ____ this way". For some tasks (taking vital signs, applying restraints, starting an IV) this mindset is fine. However, when you are dealing with a dissatisfied patient, these nurses often struggle and end up looking silly (or worse).
These folks will be the first to tell you "I hate change". Unfortunately, change is always happening, and we need to be able to adapt to be successful. For those who can't or won't, it's "My mother, drunk or sober".
The problem with adopting this mindset is that life around us is constantly changing, and it is highly unlikely that any two situations are exactly alike. There are countless examples of how we vary our approaches to situations. With driving a car over the same stretch of road, for example, we are going to do it differently in a blinding snowstorm as opposed to on a bright sunny day. We change our approach when our children are oppositional to get them to comply. We change our spending habits in response to changes in our income.
Are we all flexible and responsive to changes in our lives? Certainly not. We all know individuals for whom rigid inflexibility keeps them in their comfort zone, regardless of how silly or frustrating this may appear to those of us who can flex. If you work in a factory making widgets, all of which must be exactly the same, this mindset can be an asset, but it can become a handicap once you step outside of the factory and have to deal with the rest of the world with all of its' vagaries and challenges.
If you happen to work in a place where flexible thinking is an asset, but you have some widget makers as co-workers, stress and conflict are sure to arise. Over the years, I have worked with nurses who "always do ____ this way". For some tasks (taking vital signs, applying restraints, starting an IV) this mindset is fine. However, when you are dealing with a dissatisfied patient, these nurses often struggle and end up looking silly (or worse).
These folks will be the first to tell you "I hate change". Unfortunately, change is always happening, and we need to be able to adapt to be successful. For those who can't or won't, it's "My mother, drunk or sober".
Friday, January 11, 2013
At least they didn't have to buy tickets
For those of you who are not aware, Darwin Awards are given to someone who does the gene pool a big favor by getting himself killed in a creative way. Here is the story of two past winners:
(The late) John Pernicky and (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge, Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers between them) they thought it would be easy enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for John (100 pounds heavier than Sal) to hop over and then assist his friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large branch which snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree, with one arm broken, John looked down and saw a group of bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, John removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.
Finally free, John crashed below into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and now, being without his shorts, he was the unwilling victim of a holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity (now THAT has GOT to hurt). To make matters worse, his pocket knife fell with him and landed three inches into his left thigh.
Seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, Sal decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken state, Sal put the truck into reverse rather than first, and crashed through the fence, which landed on and killed his friend. Sal was thrown from the truck, suffered massive internal injuries, and died at the scene.
Police arrived to find the pickup truck with the driver thrown several feet from the truck. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half naked, with scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet above him.
Congratulations, gentlemen.
(The late) John Pernicky and (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge, Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers between them) they thought it would be easy enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for John (100 pounds heavier than Sal) to hop over and then assist his friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large branch which snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree, with one arm broken, John looked down and saw a group of bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, John removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.
Finally free, John crashed below into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and now, being without his shorts, he was the unwilling victim of a holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity (now THAT has GOT to hurt). To make matters worse, his pocket knife fell with him and landed three inches into his left thigh.
Seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, Sal decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken state, Sal put the truck into reverse rather than first, and crashed through the fence, which landed on and killed his friend. Sal was thrown from the truck, suffered massive internal injuries, and died at the scene.
Police arrived to find the pickup truck with the driver thrown several feet from the truck. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half naked, with scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet above him.
Congratulations, gentlemen.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Rugged Vermonters
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on the door. He opens the door to find a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.
"Names Enoch...your neighbor from four miles over the ridge...having a party Saturday...thought you'd like to come."
"Great," says Sam. "After six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem...after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Damn", Sam thinks. "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" says Sam. "Remember, I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on the door. He opens the door to find a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.
"Names Enoch...your neighbor from four miles over the ridge...having a party Saturday...thought you'd like to come."
"Great," says Sam. "After six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem...after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Damn", Sam thinks. "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" says Sam. "Remember, I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Ever Wonder Why?
The US standard railroad gauge (width between the two rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons which used the same wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long-distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? The first long-distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots first formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specifications for an Imperial Rome war chariot. Specifications and bureaucrats live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Rome war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses. Thus, we have the answer to the original question.
Now for an extra-terrestrial twist:
When you see a photo of the Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank, These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horse's behinds.
So, the major design feature of what was one of the world's most advanced transportation systems was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
Next time you are wondering why something is a particular way, the answer may be something like this.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons which used the same wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long-distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? The first long-distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots first formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specifications for an Imperial Rome war chariot. Specifications and bureaucrats live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Rome war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses. Thus, we have the answer to the original question.
Now for an extra-terrestrial twist:
When you see a photo of the Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank, These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horse's behinds.
So, the major design feature of what was one of the world's most advanced transportation systems was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
Next time you are wondering why something is a particular way, the answer may be something like this.
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