Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

One thing that I have learned along the way about State government is that doing something quickly is not a common trait and, doing something both quickly and well is just not the way we do business. I know a lot of State employees whom I like and respect and believe are highly competent, but there are many departments who, when you need help from them, respond like the turtles in the title of this piece.
While I always prefer things to be done right, a little speed, at least occasionally, is not a bad thing. If you like things this way, one of the things you want to avoid becoming involved with (at least with the State) is contracts. The State pay scales are such that it is sometimes hard to attract the skilled people who are needed to do a particular job. Rather that adjust the pay scales to make them competitive in the market, people at the upper levels of State government won't blink twice about signing a multi-million dollar contact for the service, ultimately paying more then they would if they adjusted pay scales. There is probably a good reason for this; it just escapes me.
The person in my department who manages contracts is very nice, extremely competent, and there is nothing negative to be said about her or how she does her job. She is very helpful at making sure that the contract is properly prepared and that all of the requirements have been met. It is after it leaves her hands that the turtle stampede begins. First, her boss reviews it (and may send it back for revision if there is something she doesn't like or for which she wants more of an explanation. Next, someone in Finance looks at it, who may also send it back. It then passes on to one of the attorneys, who again can send it back. Finally, it goes to the office of the Secretary of the Agency, where one of the Secretary's minions reviews it and, if not sent back, signs to approve it. Aside from the Department's contract person, everyone else who has to review the contract has other things to do, so this task is way down the list of priorities and, no matter how quickly I may need the contract in place, there is no required timeline for completion. I am told that, if a contract is "fast tracked" it can be completed in "only" 12 weeks. Needless to say, there are a host of unpleasant things I would rather do than put together a contract through State government.
Unfortunately, the State does not have the capability of performing all of the services that it needs, so contracting is a necessary evil. Once the contract is actually completed and in place, things are generally OK, unless the person with whom the contract is executed is an incompetent idiot (always an unfortunate possibility; people can lie to you or inflate their capability). Overall, my results have been mixed, but more good than bad. We contract with a lot of skilled, competent people. When they are not, it's less common but the results are generally more spectacular.
If you don't work for the State, but have an opportunity to provide service under the contact, it can be a very good experience. Just be prepared to deal with the herd of turtles in the beginning.

The Right to Make Bad Choices

In Vermont, an individual's right to refuse mental health treatment is supported more strongly than the process to compel treatment upon that individual. For those who are sent to a hospital for an "Emergency Evaluation", a sometimes lengthy process starts down the road to decide whether or not that individual is involuntarily committed into "the care and custody of the Commissioner" (of Mental Health). It is, to put it nicely, a convoluted process that can take quite awhile (there is no required deadline for completion of the process).
Some of these individuals, because of their illness, are unable to make choices that are in his/her best interest. Unfortunately for these individuals, unless there is a legal determination of incompetency (and a guardian is appointed), they can make some really bad decisions while they are unable to leave the hospital. For some of these individuals, taking medication would be helpful, but many refuse, and the process to get a court order to override their refusal is another lengthy, convoluted process.
Opponents of this process refer to is as "forced drugging" a pejorative term which does nothing to advance their position. While I would prefer that people not be involuntarily medicated, I see people who are so sick that they cannot ethically be discharged from a hospital. Many have pending legal charges because their illness has contributed toward some unacceptable behavior in the community.
Currently, people are confined to hospitals for prolonged periods of time at taxpayer expense, some with no likelihood of being able to be discharged (I know of one who has been hospitalized for more than a year with no end in sight). It is hard to say that this is OK, but it is the system we have in place today. People have a right to make bad choices. Unfortunately, they do not have a right to be well.

If God would give the world an enema, this is where he'd stick in the hose.

Ever been someplace unpleasant? Sure you have: a bathroom that needs cleaning, a restaurant with crappy service, a room full of hyperactive kids, Newark Airport; the list is endless.
The title of this piece arose out of one of my clinical locations when I was in school learning how to become a nurse. I was attending a small State College in Pennsylvania. Pocono Medical Center was right next to our campus, and served as a clinical site for many of our classes, but it was not a huge place, and some of us got farmed out to other sites.
Stroud Manor was a nursing home that was across the street from the medical center. Our initial impression of the place was not the least bit positive. When we walked through the door, our noses were assaulted by a strong smell of urine. There were very few staff, and the patients did not seem to get much in the way of care. They did not seem to mind, though, and we soon found out why.
I had never heard of Belladonna and Opium suppositories, but they were a frequently-used product at Stroud Manor. Basically, the residents were being drugged so that things could be managed with minimal staff.
From our perspective, the residents were being neglected, and we were free labor for the owners. As a group, we wanted to refuse to go back, but the only thing this was likely to accomplish was a failing grade for each of us. We reluctantly stuck it out, although none of us felt we really learned anything from working there. That being said, we did out best to provide good care for the residents when we were there. The title comes from a description of the place supplied by one of my classmates. It was pretty helpful in describing how we felt about the place, and has been useful in describing my feelings about a few other places I have encountered since then. Interestingly, I remember press reports of the nursing home getting sanctioned by the State for proving sub-standard care, and the place eventually closed. Whether or not one of my classmates was responsible for filing a complaint about them is unknown, but the negative attention the owners got was well-deserved.
So, the next time you are stuck in someplace unpleasant, ask yourself "What would God do?" You now have the answer.

Intellectually Celibate

The title of this piece is a term I once heard used to describe former President George "Dubya" Bush.

Our 43rd President was known to point out that "even a C student could be President". There is a fine line between "nice" and "stupid" which he seemed to straddle with great skill.

We probably all know people who are not deep thinkers, but I doubt that any had such power combined with such a lack of awareness (remember "Mission Accomplished"?). Dubya apparently did not read newspapers or books, nor did he read the briefing materials prepared for him by White House staff (at least not with any regularity). To me, it is not a huge surprise that we ended up in wars without clear objectives or end points. Combine this with advocating tax cuts when we are already operating at a deficit to fund the two wars, and it is easy to  understand why things were such a mess when he left office.

Obviously, being President requires a unique skill and knowledge which not everyone has. Unfortunately, Dubya appears to have been one with neither of them. While Obama is clearly way more intelligent, he apparently lacks the skill set as well. While many people may want the job, not many appear to be good at it.

Considering  his lack of interest in reading, it's more than a bit surprising that Dubya would have a Presidential Library. Most Presidential Libraries don't contain books, but rather papers, videos, audio recordings, and mementos. In his case, though, calling it a Library is a bit of an affront to the English language.
On a positive note, I have to say that I approve of how he has chosen to retire and stay out of politics. He does not attend events or make public comments about political issues, so at least he does not make things worse. For that, all should be grateful.
For those of you who think Dubya was a great President, I respect your right to your opinion, but we will have to agree to disagree. I think we, and history can remember him as both nice and intellectually celibate, and let it go at that.

Always get married in the morning...

More relationship advice. This time from the late Mickey Rooney (married eight times) who advised: "Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."
I once read that over half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce, so I have to concede that Mickey is much more of an expert on these things than I am (I have only been married twice so far).
On Facebook, for those of you who want to list being in a relationship, one of the choices you can select is "It's complicated". Looking around and seeing the relationships that many people are in, it's a bit surprising this selection is not chosen more often. It isn't necessarily a negative; relationships can be complicated and also be hard work.
We have so many different types and degrees of relationships: acquaintances, friends, good friends, best friends, enemies, relatives, colleagues, bosses/subordinates, co-workers, customers, girlfriends/boyfriends, lovers, fiancées, spouses, and a host of others. Put "former" in front of the descriptor, and you have created a whole new set. Considering how relationships can also change, you can begin to see why that one choice on Facebook isn't all that bad.
I guess you could say that the dynamic nature of relationships (they start, end, morph into different levels or categories) is part of what makes life so interesting and challenging. Relationships also seem to be something we all want or need. Think of Tom Hank's character in Castaway who developed a relationship with a volleyball (who he named "Wilson"). If we don't have a relationship, it seems like we will figure out a way to create one.
Whether you choose a volleyball or a spouse, whatever meets your need is OK. Remember , though, if you choose to get married, pick a time before noon. It can't hurt.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you are

Who among us  hasn't  received advice at one time or another about relationships? The  title of  this piece was advice that was offered  to me  many years ago when I  was "between marriages". The  person who offered this advice was, I believe, speaking from experience, and was trying to be helpful and make sure I did not make the same mistake.
While a degree of emotional baggage is to be expected in any relationship, the point I think he was trying to make was that everyone needs to identify a point in a relationship beyond which they will not go. To quote Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations." We all have different tolerances, perceptions, and expectations, so that point may vary for many of us. My friend viewed himself as relatively stable (at least most of the time), so the boundary for him the boundary was based upon himself.
Some of us can be a bit fussy in setting expectations of others in a relationship, such as: college graduate, nice teeth, not fat, not ugly (whatever that means to you), intelligent in discussions, rich, respectful, nice car/house, kids or no kids, religious (or not), good cook, nice wardrobe, good job, and a host of others.
While these expectations may work for you, it might not be a bad idea to also incorporate my friends advice. It worked for him; it will probably work for you.

Because we're stupid

On the surface, a lot of ideas seem like good ideas. It's when you scrape beneath the surface and really think about it, many of them would be better off having never been contemplated. Some of these ideas are big, like the War in Iraq, setting fire to the Branch Davidian Compound, New Coke, the rollout of Obamacare, or Reality Television. Others may not be as memorable or influential on our lives, but we still see or experience their impact to some degree.
Years ago, one of my mentors summed it up succinctly when I asked about a project in the hospital where we worked that was turning out to be a bit of a disaster, wondering how we ended up where we were. His response was, "The short answer is always: Because we're stupid." I hate to say it, but it seemed to be the perfect explanation for so much going on around us.
I am, by nature, an analytical thinker who likes to try to think out processes from beginning to end and to examine issues from differing perspectives. I sometimes have found that, what I initially though might be a brilliant idea, really wasn't. While I am prepared to defend my position on an issue, I am not afraid to be convinced that my position is mistaken. I am also not afraid to NOT have an opinion about something, whether it is because I don't know enough about it or it simply is not important to me.
Regretfully, it seems that there are a lot of people out there who respond to a situation and come up with an idea without giving it much (or enough) thought. Processes or products are developed without thinking about the people who actually have to use them or do the work. While cost of something is important, sometimes that is the only consideration and the end result is unworkable. Often, you and I are the end users of something that never should have happened.
So, the next time you are in a situation where you are asking someone, "How could this have happened?", you will know the answer.