Saturday, September 7, 2019

Donnie Douchebag




Sometimes, my mind wanders to strange subjects. Today, I was thinking of nicknames. Many people throughout history have had famous nicknames:
- Al "Scarface" Capone
- Richard the Lionhearted
- George "Babe" Ruth
- George "Blood and Guts" Patton
You can probably think of dozens more, belonging to famous people or friends and acquaintances of your. Nicknames are often given because of physical attributes (during WW II, author William Manchester was known as "Tripod" by his fellow Marines; you can probably guess why). Others may earn their nicknames because of their personalities.
Our current president is fond of giving unflattering nicknames to people who piss him off:
-Joe "Sleepy Joe" Biden
- Jeb "Low Energy" Bush
- Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren
- Ted "Lyin' Ted" Cruz
and the list goes on and on.
In my musings, I was wondering about a nickname for our President. This week, "Mr. Sharpie" would be fitting, but it would become obsolete as memories fade or move on to whatever stupid thing he says or does the next week.
If you wanted to give him a nickname related to his appearance, something about being orange would be fitting but, in my mind, not good enough.
This leaves his personality, which creates almost endless possibilities. I am somewhat at a loss to list his positive qualities, although I am sure many people can identify something about him that they view as positive. For those who can, you may be a better person than I am, and that's OK.
From my observations, this is what I see:
- lying is like breathing (12,000+ lies since taking office and counting)
- being ethical is a waste of time; it doesn't make money
- he is never wrong (according to him)
- cheating on your spouse (all of them) is normal behavior
- he thinks he is the best at everything (finance, trade, international relations, estimating crowd sizes,
 meteorology, etc.) (I would point out that being modest is not a strength of his.)
The President likes to brag that he has been on the cover of Time magazine more than anyone else. Even among Presidents, he's not even close. Here are some comparisons:
Nixon: 43
Reagan: 39
Clinton: 35
Obama: 23
Trump: 14 (this includes both before and during office)
I came across the above picture of a Time Magazine cover. I am sure it's a fake (Trump was famous for displaying  fakes of Time Magazine covers featuring him at his various properties). Even though I am sure the cover is satire, I think it provides the perfect nickname; one which will stand the test of time.
This week, he may be "Mr. Sharpie", but, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, if the United States would last for a thousand years, he will always be "Donnie Douchebag".




Friday, March 15, 2019

Lincoln for President in 2020?



Other than giving you Bernie Sanders running President, Vermont has not contributed much to politics lately. Much of the time, I have difficulty taking politics seriously, so I found it refreshing that the citizens of Fair Haven chose to elect a Nubian Goat named Lincoln to be their mayor (they have a Town Manager, so the mayor is a ceremonial position). 
Lincoln has great potential as a politician (maybe even President) more for what he doesn't do than what he does do. Unlike the current occupant of the White House, Lincoln is unlikely to bully or demean anyone, is unlikely to lie or to encourage others to be racist or otherwise intolerant. He also won't be considering or granting any pardons to undeserving evil-doers. His attitude toward women? No doubt respectful, especially if they feed him. Building walls? He'd rather not have any.
Would Lincoln be a great President? Perhaps not, but it's too early to tell. Let's see how he does as mayo firstr. If he does OK, he could move up to  maybe Senator (we are basically down to one Senator since Bernie is largely absent campaigning). Eventually, things could fall into place with a run for the White House. We've had two Presidents named Adams, and two named Bush. Why not two named Lincoln?
So far, Lincoln is off to a good start. His first official act after being sworn in as mayor? He pooped.